Alright, everybody. Your long-awaited questions are now here. If you missed last weekend’s question night, or you didn’t get your question answered, it has been responded to below. If you have follow up question, or you’re a leader and would like to throw in your comments, please feel free to do so below.

Why do students leave youth group?

I think students leave for a number of reasons, from schedules to families moving to conflict to loss of interest. The number one reason that we’ve heard, though, is that people aren’t feeling connected with others in the group, either because their friends have left or they’ve drifted away.

How do you know if what you’re doing or what you’re planning to do is in God’s will?

Joey gave a great answer to this, which I’ll sum up here. First, check it against the Word of God. If your idea is not consistent with biblical teaching, it’s not in God’s will. Second, pray about it. Often, God will let us know if our ideas are outside of his will for us. Third, check with wise counsel: people you trust and you know care about you, who are solid Christians and have more life experience than you do. These three filters lining up isn’t a guarantee, but it’s a pretty safe way to gauge how well your plans fit God’s will for you.

Holly, after you have a baby boy, are you ever coming back to fuel?

I’ve talked with Holly about this, and she is planning to come back, although she’ll obviously need some time off right after the baby is born.

Is becoming a student leader hard?

We let our student leaders answer this at youth the other night, so I’ll just give you my input. The process has changed a little since the first time we brought student leaders on, and, in my opinion, it has gotten harder. The reason for this is to make sure that people are really ready before we bring them into leadership. That being said, if you apply and aren’t ready, we won’t just ditch you. We will work with you on our areas of concern.

How do you deal with people that judge you and put you down?

We talked a lot about judging others in our recent series on the Sermon on the Mount, but we focused mostly on not judging. Being judged is obviously the opposite problem, but the solution is the same. We have to remember that God alone is our judge, and no one else has the right to place value on us. That being said, if someone is harassing you and won’t stop, you need to find the right authority figure who can help you take care of your specific situation.

1.Sharing my faith is so hard can u guys (and prego) explain how I can do it and it to make sense?

2.I don’t know exactly how to share my faith. Please help?

I’ll answer these together, as they’re pretty similar questions. Sharing your faith usually takes a two-pronged approach. Obviously you have to share the gospel at some point (God demands from us a standard we can’t meet, but Jesus has met it, and if we believe in him we get credit for his accomplishment), but you also have to back it up with your lifestyle.

What do you do when someone like our friends smokes weed

Obviously, that’s a really unhealthy choice, and you should do everything you can to persuade them not to. That may include getting them in touch with the right resources (school counselors, etc.) who can give them the tools they need to quit.

How do you know what religion to go with?

You should evaluate the truth claims of different religions and ask people who believe them to explain parts you don’t understand. You should also pray for direction from God as to which is true. That being said, I’ll stack Christianity up against anything and come out on top every time. It’s the only faith to acknowledge our yearning for something greater and our inability to get there on our own, along with a God who’s already done all the work for us.

I love this program!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For those who weren’t there, this comment referred to the program we used to put people’s texts directly on the screen. Me too.

Have any of you done drugs?

I can only speak for myself. Apart from alcohol and tobacco, I have not.

What is your favorite part about us and being part of fuel?

I like a lot of things about being part of FUEL and about the students, but my favorite would have to be the privilege of getting to see young people transform over time: to watch people grow from uncertain kids into mature believers in Christ.

My best friend is like a sister to me but she has a lot of bad stuff in her life. I want to help her get past it but idk how. Any tips?

This question would really be much better answered with more specifics of the type of “bad stuff.” Some basic tips though would be:

• You’re her friend, not her counselor. As such you have an extremely important role to fill, and you need to know when to bring in someone else who has the expertise to help.
• Listen to her non-judgmentally, even if you know her behavior is wrong and/or self-destructive. Your job is to get her the help she needs.
• Be consistently available to her. She’s going through a rough time and will need to turn to someone. You have a responsibility to her to be there, even if it’s inconvenient for you.

Does this work?

The projection program? Yes.

What went through your head when you were going to kill yourself?

[answered by Anthony] My mind was pretty chaotic at the time. Mostly thoughts of being unwanted and undeserving. I didn’t feel loved and I didn’t feel like anyone cared.

(not really a question) With the whole clique thing, to me it seems like its still going on and I’m excluded.

Although we have tried to minimize cliques and exclusivity in our group, I have no doubt that it still goes on and leaves people out. We want everyone to be included, but obviously we haven’t achieved that. Any one of our leaders or student leaders would be happy to talk with you in more detail and work to get you connected with the group, as well as to directly address some of the cliques if you bring them to our attention.

Who made the cookies?

Crystal. And Brittany made cookies the week prior. Thanks to both of you!

Do you guys want to give us all attention?

We do want to, but again we’re imperfect at making that happen. Please address any of the leaders if you feel you’re being ignored or avoided, because I’m sure it’s not intentional on their part.

I have a group of people who pick on me nonstop how do i deal with it?

You need to get somebody in authority involved. Depending on where it happens it might be a teacher, school counselor, parent or me. If you’re not sure who to talk to, any of our leaders would be happy to help give you some direction for that.

What did you think about the avengers Matt?

I saw the 12:01 showing on opening day, and it was AWESOME!

How will the girls talk to someone about their problems if Holly is gone and they don’t feel comfortable talking with a guy about it???

There are absolutely some issues that girls should talk to girl leaders about, and as a male leader I’m definitely sensitive to that. Jessica, for one, is not going anywhere, and I’ve been talking with some other women about possibly joining our team in the near future.

How do you know if god talks to you? I’ve heard before that it’s a secret place inside you.

God speaks to us primarily through the Bible. Any time we think he may be saying something to us more directly, we should first check to see if it’s consistent with the written Word of God. We must also remember that, though God does still speak today, nothing that anyone ever claims to have heard from God will ever hold the same level of authority as what’s already contained in the Bible.

Can you answer the others on fuel line?

Working on it.

Is there anyway for you to change the day for home groups?

Not at this time, at least for high school. We might be changing up the day for middle school in the fall.

The Avengers was awesome! Now shhhh

Agreed

Matt

Again, if you have follow up questions, or if leaders would like to add input, please do so in the comments.

We just finished up “The Real” at FUEL and had an awesome question night. Answers to the full list of questions will be posted on the blog in the days to come. Our next series (and last for the school year) will start up on May 20th after Mother’s Day. This series will be “Justice For All,” and we’ll be exploring the theme of social justice, looking at THE PROBLEM of inequity and oppression in our world, THE SOLUTION provided by God through Christ, and THE MANDATE on us as the church to be an agent in that solution. Don’t miss this. It’ll change you so you can change everything else!

This coming Sunday, May 6th, we’re taking any and all questions at FUEL! Ask them out loud, text them anonymously, write them on a slip of paper, email them ahead of time, tap them on the table in morse code, just get us your questions and be ready for some great discussion!

Questions can be about ANYTHING, and we’ll do our best to answer them. If we don’t know, we’ll tell you that and give you resources to find the answer. You can direct your question to an individual leader or to the group as a whole. Think up some good ones!

The past two Sundays at FUEL have been awesome, as we’ve been looking at “The Real,” starting with a look behind the curtain at the God who wants to be known, and moving on to the various ways we end up being less than real in an effort to gain acceptance. Don’t miss out this Sunday; we’ll be closing out our series with GENUINE COPY, finding our reality rooted in ultimate reality.

We just started a new series at FUEL: “The Real.” Starting this past Sunday night and for the next two weeks, we’ll be looking beyond illusion in search of ultimate reality. As Christians, we believe that ultimate reality is deeper than what we can see, deeper even than ourselves or our faith. We believe it is found only in the eternal, triune God. We’ll be looking at that and at the consequences this type of thinking has for the rest of life. Don’t miss out!

FUEL has a new series starting up this Sunday: Redeemed. Make sure you get there and bring a friend as we look at Christian doctrine in a way that is relevant to your real, everyday life. Redemption is at the very core of God’s interaction with all humanity throughout history, and it is the basis for our relationship with him and with others.

Do. Not. Miss. This.

We had a great Q&A session at FUEL last night but unfortunately didn’t get a chance to get to all the questions. Brief responses are below, but feel free to comment or email me for further clarification.

Q: Why did Judas betray Jesus?

A: Judas betrayed Jesus for a number of different reasons on different levels.

• At the surface level, he was paid. Judas received 30 pieces of silver in exchange for leading the chief priests and Romans to Jesus. We know that Judas was a thief and was using his position with Jesus to find ways to benefit himself.
• At a deeper level, many Bible scholars believe that Judas was a Zealot, meaning he was looking for an opportunity to violently overthrow the occupying Roman force. When he discovered that Jesus was not the political, militant messiah that he was expecting, he turned against him.
•  Ultimately, Jesus came to Earth to die, among other reasons. This was the plan all along, and in order for it to happen, someone had to turn him in to the authorities.

Q: This is for Joey. Why does lady gaga want to sit right down where she belongs in the corner of my bar with her high heels on?

A: (Joey) Next question please.

Q: I just started my “journey of faith” and it’s been pretty rough. Will it get any easier for me?

A: Yes and no. As Christians, we will always struggle with temptation and doubt. These will never fully go away, but as we mature in our faith, the Holy Spirit will empower us and strengthen both our lifestyle and our trust in God so that our relationship with him grows and becomes closer.

Q: For Holly: How did you deal with insecurities as a teenager?

A: Disclaimer: Holly answered this much better last night than I can, but I’ll recap some of what she said and throw my own two cents in. In our teenage years, we experience a huge amount of insecurities and self doubt, but the truth is many (if not all) adults continue to struggle with these issues to some extent. The fact of the matter is that we can’t be comfortable in our own skin until we really grasp the reality that we are children of God, because he chose to make us his own. We are endowed with dignity, honor and worth because God loves us, and compared with that our issues about complexion or weight or height or social awkwardness or whatever we struggle with should be really small. I realize that’s easy to say, but it’s true. We have to be secure in our identity as sons and daughters of God before we can be secure in anything else about ourselves.

Q: My relationship with God has been put last because of all the crap going on in my life. Besides praying, going to church and being a holy person, how do I grow closer? Will he ever fully forgive me?

A: Praying, going to church, and trying to live a holy lifestyle, along with regular Bible reading, are definitely essential in developing our relationship with God, but they are not enough on their own; they have to be paired with a genuine love for Christ in our hearts. Also, it is incredibly important to remember that working on our relationship with God takes some work. It’s in some ways like working on our physical fitness. In the same way that going to the gym once a month or doing a pushup every other day is not going to dramatically change our physique, half-hearted prayer or Bible reading will not change our spiritual lives overnight. Community is also critical. When we are in relationships with others, we can grow together with them. They can hold us accountable and encourage us. As for forgiveness, Christ’s atonement is big enough to cover any sin we could commit, and if we are genuine followers of Christ, he will both forgive our sins and help us to sin less frequently.

Q: Jeus is awesome. Do you agree?

A: Assuming that “Jeus” is a typo (the questions were texted in) answers were provided based on the following interpretations:

• Jeus = “Jesus” with an s missing. Yes.
• Jeus = “Juice” badly misspelled. Yes.
• Jeus = “Zeus” with j replacing z. No, but his stories are fascinating.

Q: How do we deal with a death that happened many years ago and still affects me each and every day?

A: There is no “quick-fix” for something like this, but we know that God uses death and pain to help us grow and to teach us about himself. We can, however, take comfort in the knowledge that death is not permanent, and we will one day be reunited with other believers. Over time, God can bring healing in the midst of our pain, but we will still miss loved ones who have died. Whether someone was a Christian or not, we can honor their memory by using their death to understand the importance of having a relationship with God now and sharing him with others.

Q: To Holly: Me and my friends are in our own little group but some of them are fading away. I’m scared to lose them and I really don’t want to. What do I do?

A: We didn’t get to this question last night, but I’ve asked Holly to respond personally to the person who asked it. What I would say is that as we get older and our personalities change (especially as adolescents), we will find that friendships also change. This is painful, but it is also normal. Most (not all) adults that I know have a different set of friends from when they were in high school, but there are also friendships that can transcend all these changes. My best advice is honesty with your friends. Let them know that you value their friendship and are willing to put in the work to make it strong.

Q: Why do spiders crawl into your mouth while you sleep?

A: Because it’s warm and moist. Don’t worry too much about it though; spiders are proteiny. Mmm, spiders.

Q: Most of my closest friends are Mormon. They don’t try to change me, but it’s weird because they talk about their religion alot. (Not really a question, sorry)

A: If them talking about their faith makes you uncomfortable, try telling them (politely) that it makes you uncomfortable or, better yet, try talking about your faith with them. Good starting points: Jesus as fully God and fully man or the Bible as our only supreme source of information about God. (Not really an answer)

Q: Humans don’t know or even understand things about life so how do you show or tell them because humans need to experience to understand things?

A: First off, I have to disagree with a couple parts of your question. Humans can understand some things about life, even though they can’t understand everything. Also, experience is a fantastic teacher, but it’s not the only way to understand things. For example, I’ve never been hit by a car, but I understand the physics involved and I’m confident that it would hurt a lot, and I’d like to avoid it. I’ve never been to China, but I believe it exists. I was born in 1982, but I don’t doubt that Hitler and Stalin and Churchill and Roosevelt lived and were involved in WWII. I can’t get inside my wife’s brain, but I believe that she loves me. None of these things are based in experience, and even some things that people have believed based on experience (such as the earth being the center of the universe) have proven to be wrong. What we’re talking about here is a philosophical category known as epistemology, which is the study of how we know what we know, or how information comes to us, and there are four major ways that we know about things.

• Innatism. Innate knowledge is something that we simply know as humans. I would argue that some basic rules of logic are innate, such as the law of non-contradiction (if A equals B, then A cannot not equal B).
• Empiricism. Empirical knowledge is what we learn through our senses. The color of a stop sign, the taste of barbecued ribs and the feeling of plunging into an ice cold lake are all learned empirically.
• Authority. Authority is the method we get most of our information from. If I tell you that “there are four major epistemological categories” and you believe that I know what I’m talking about, you will accept that as new information. Most of what we know about the world is this type of information.
• Intuition. Intuition is probably the weakest source of knowledge, but it is a source nevertheless. We might make an assumption about someone’s intentions based on their behavior. This is intuition. It’s not solid or trustworthy, but it can help us get along in day-to-day life.

The only one of these that really describes learning through experience is empiricism, and frankly we can’t learn everything through direct experience. Even if you conduct your own scientific experiments, precisely and painstakingly measuring and weighing different substances, your information is partly based on authority. You are trusting that your instruments are accurate and that their designer knew what they were doing.

Q: Did you get a new phone?

A: Yes.

Q: To Joey: I feel like I want to take my friend under “my wing” but I don’t know if I’m confident enough. What can I do about it?

A: We didn’t get to this question last night, but I’ve asked Joey to respond personally to the person who asked it. What I would say is that, again, honesty is going to be key here. Your approach will obviously need to depend on what it is that you’re hoping to coach them about, but make sure that they know you care about them and that you’re being a good resource by checking with others who are wiser than you to make sure you’re giving good advice. Be reliable, accessible and consistent. Maintain their confidence, and if you don’t know an answer, tell them you’ll find out, and then follow through.

That’s it! Hope that helps a little. Again, feel free to comment if you want to add to my answers or add to the questions.

Matt

If you remember our Forum series from last spring, get geared up to do it again.  Forum turns the tables on youth ministry and focuses on what the youth have to say, not just the leaders.  We’re going to be asking you questions to generate discussion and hear from you!

May 15th      EXPECTATION (what do you want from a youth ministry?)
May 22nd     LETTER25 (why be a Christian? why be involved in church?)
May 29th      NEED.2.KNOW (what do young people need to hear?)
June 5th       WHO IS GOD (to you? to your culture?)
June 12th    CONTINUUM (what’s next?)

This is going to be an awesome time in our ministry, with some exciting changes coming up.  Don’t miss it!

Jacob Popoff is closing out our “Pandemic” series this Sunday night with QUARANTINE, where he’ll be focusing on our need to keep Christ at the center of our Christian message.  He’s got a great word planned, so don’t miss out on hearing from one of our student leaders.  Come out, support Jacob, and have an awesome time!